As you know by now, Donald Trump’s threats to “Make America Great Again” have shockingly, stunningly come close to hypnotizing enough of the Republican Party into making him the Party’s nominee. Excuse me for a moment while I throw up after having typed that sentence.
I know you and I don’t see eye to eye on every issue. Although why you refuse to accept that we found WMD’s in Iraq and insist on wanting to pay higher taxes is beyond me!!!! But this isn’t the time for partisanship, it’s a time for unity. Unity against one thing we can both agree on. The disgusting, nauseating, repugnant, vile, bile-inducing prospect that of the last two people standing in the race for president, one of them will be the truly loathsome Donald Trump. That’s right, I’m asking you to swallow your pride and your disgust and vote in the Republican primaries AGAINST TRUMP.
Now I know what you’re thinking, Democratic voter. You’re saying to yourself “having Trump as the nominee would be GREAT! Hillary will crush him in a general election! He’s a clown, a farce, a con man. She has well thought out policy positions and all he has are ‘lines around the states’ and empty slogans.”
Oh to still be as naive and innocent as you. I remember the good old days in the wistful, idyllic yesteryear of 2015 when this contemptible, fraudulent, malodorous, beastly, prurient slime was ridiculed by people in my party as a “political side show” who would crumble as soon as the real voting began. “Ha ha,” we foolishly thought to ourselves, “no sane individual could ever vote for someone who expects Mexico to build a wall for us, or who claims he’s against illegal immigrants despite hiring illegal immigrants himself, or who claims he’s against political correctness despite making a career of suing people for using words (I MEAN THIS GUY TRIED TO TRADEMARK THE PHRASE “YOU’RE FIRED!!!” FOR GOD’S SAKE), or had to declare bankruptcy four times despite claiming to be a fiscal conservative, or ran a literal scam school, or…” and by the time our brains had finished processing just what a brutal, racist, horrid, revolting man Trump is, he had already won 3 out 4 of the first states.
My point? Do not underestimate the capacity for people, even otherwise smart people, to be swept up by a candidate offering empty promises and running on slogans. After all, didn’t you vote for Obama? Ha ha, ok sorry that was a cheap shot. But seriously, every time this guy is written off as being non-serious, he wins another state.
What we have right here is nothing short of a national emergency. And what we need right now is a plan. We need to put our differences aside and unite to take him down BEFORE he wins the nomination. You cannot simply rely on the idea that Hillary will appeal to the better nature of humanity during the general election. It didn’t work for Christie, or Jeb! or any of the rest.
And what’s worse is that Hillary has a TON of baggage. Any minute now another email will pop up showing that she somehow is personally responsible for the continuing strife in the Middle East. Or maybe we’ll find out that Russian hackers used her email servers to sign up for 1,000 new online betting accounts. Or maybe she was somehow behind the fact that no black people were nominated at the Oscars this year. You just never know what to expect with this woman!
Seriously though, if the words Whitewater, Benghazi, Blumenthal, Wall Street Speeches, Clinton Foundation, Paula Jones or Juanita Broderick mean anything to you…then it’s time to be concerned. And look, I know “you’re with her” and all that – I’m not trying to bash your favorite candidate. I’m just saying that even if you don’t believe that the Trump Train is barreling down the tracks of the Northeast Corridor straight into Union Station, you have to admit to yourself that there is ALWAYS a chance (and you can be sure that Trump is paying a lot of people already to look this up) for an October surprise of epic proportions.
And then what happens? Write-in campaign? Rely on the Electoral College to save us? Hope is not a strategy folks. We cannot afford even the POSSIBILITY that this orange cretin can so much as sniff the White House.
What I’m saying is that on the heels of Hillary’s smashing victory in South Carolina, she doesn’t really need you right now. And that’s doubly true based on how the next three Tuesdays look to be shaping up. Frankly, with the way your corrupt system of “Super Delegates” works, even when she loses she STILL wins!
So by the time you’re voting in New York, New Jersey, California and dozens of other states, #FeelTheBern will seem about as relevant as #Jeb! or #BelieveAgain or #FreshIdeasForAmerica. How many of you even know what those hashtags are even referencing at this point?
YOU CAN STILL PLAY A VITAL ROLE THOUGH. Huge, delegate-rich states like Pennsylvania and California don’t have their deadlines for primary registration until late March. For others, the deadlines aren’t until May! And for others still, like Indiana (voting on May 3rd) you don’t even need to change your party to vote in the Republican primary. Let’s be honest friends, if Hillary doesn’t have this locked up by May 3rd, she doesn’t deserve to be your candidate anymore anyway.
You can get into the Republican primary, pick whichever still-standing candidate you find to be the least offensive, cast your vote and switch back to your preferred party anytime you want! Personally I’d rather you vote for Rubio, since he has the best chance of challenging Trump in a contested election. And I assure you that your vote will matter, because at this point I think it’s pretty clear that Rubio is going ride this election out until the bitter end.
We may not be able to stop Trump from winning the MOST delegates, but if Rubio really does go the distance, we might just block him from getting a majority. At that point, it’s anybody’s guess who becomes the nominee. Maybe Rubio. Maybe Kasich! Hey that wouldn’t be so bad for you guys, right? RIGHT???
I know I’m asking a lot. I know it’s a hard, bitter pill for you to swallow. But these are truly desperate times. If I can’t stand Trump’s disgusting, nativist, snarling, anti-Muslim, borderline pro-KKK hysterics (and I’m a Republican!), what must that do to you? Forget even about whether he can win in a general election, do you really want to endure the spectacle of this horror show standing on the debate stage with Hillary, making his obnoxious faces and exuding his odoriferous “policy positions” for the entire world to see?
And all the while knowing that he’s just one scandal away from having access to our nation’s nuclear launch codes.
Tell me you aren’t even more frightened than I am right now.
So I ask you again, I IMPLORE YOU AGAIN, do the right thing for your country. Join me in declaring #NeverTrump and VOTE IN THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY. This has already been the strangest election we’ve ever had, let’s not let it become the WORST election we’ve ever had.
Then, once this nightmare is behind us, we can go back to fighting it out in the general election like we always have.
Your Republican Friend